Archive for the ‘santa as a demon’ Tag

Santa That Ole Demon   2 comments


Hi, this is Kyle – Lela’s son and this is my first post on the blog.

My English teacher assigned us to make her afraid of Santa, so this is my contribution.


Santa seems like a jolly old elf, but in reality he is a demon. Even Satan can appear as an angel of light, so why would we assume that a jolly fat man wouldn’t be evil?

Think about it. He sneaks into people’s houses by sliding down their chimneys in the middle of the night. Most of us would shoot someone who did that, but we let Santa in every winter as if he’s welcome.

He then requires us to provide him with milk and cookies so that he will leave presents, but if we fail to give him milk and cookies, he steals children instead, takes them to his workshop and forces them to make toys.

If his “elves” (slaves) fail to work as he wants them to, he then feeds them to the reindeer to give them magical powers so that they can fly his evil night journey of sliding down chimneys, accepting bribes and stealing more children to use in his workshop … or feed to his demonic reindeer.

Yeah, my mom gave me permission to do this.

Merry Christmas and remember, you can board up that fireplace.

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