Archive for the ‘#propriety’ Tag

Breast Feeding from the Male Perspective   Leave a comment

Hi, this is Brad. Lela is rewriting, so she’s letting me play on her blog. Oh my!


I didn’t know this woman. We were just in a class together. When her baby started fussing, she pulled up her t-shirt, exposing both breasts, and started feeding the baby. Every man in the room (and we were half the group) turned bright red and forgot all about learning anything. I watched as men shifted to relieve pressure from certain parts of their anatomy and smelled at least a few deodorants fail.

Is it just me or do women’s breasts make most men a tad uncomfortable?

There’s something about it that just makes my anatomy react.

Image result for image of covered breastfeedingThat’s not a bad thing when it’s my wife’s breasts, but if it’s some other guy’s girl … nope, that’s not a good thing.

The Bible, actually Jesus in the Bible, tells me that if I look at a woman I’m not married to with lust in my heart, I’m guilty of adultery without every touching her or even talking to her.


So, when I see a woman breastfeeding uncovered in public, I don’t think — “Oh, how sweet!” I think “Please cover up, lady. Don’t make me guilty of what I don’t want to be guilty of.”

And, no, it is a visceral, instinct-based reaction that cannot be controlled. I can look away, but I can’t prevent that “oh-mama!” initial reaction because I am a normal male with normal sexual desires and it is written into my DNA that I’m supposed to be turned on by breasts.

Not too long ago, a Virginia woman did what she normally did when her 19-month-old baby was agitated—she breast-fed her. Trouble is, she did it in church, uncovered. Apparently, she now feels her “rights as a mom have been violated” because the church objected. Is there a right to breast-feed? Is there a right to breast-feed in public? Is there a right to breast-feed n a church? Is there a right to breast-feed uncovered?

I say “No” to all of those questions. There is no right to breast-feed … except on your own property — which means there is no right to breast-feed in public.

Image result for image of covered breastfeedingFirst, let’s get something straight. Lela breast-fed our two munchers and she did it in public and in church … but not uncovered.

The Summit Church in Springfield, Virginia, does not allow breast-feeding without a cover because it could make men, teenagers or new churchgoers “uncomfortable.” Yeah! The one place you really don’t want to have lustful thoughts for a woman you’re not married to is while sitting in church next to your wife and kids hearing a sermon on how you should flee sexual immorality. When a woman breast-fed her baby in the middle of a church service at Summit Church, she was asked to go to a private room. She declined. She was also told by a woman that the sermon was being live-streamed and that she would not want her to be seen breast-feeding on camera.

Yeah, let’s not tune into the titty show on the religious channel. We ordinarily don’t allow people to expose their private parts in the church service. That doesn’t magically change because you’ve got a baby with you.

The woman then fled the church, “embarrassed and in shock.” The next day, she posted a Facebook video of her breast-feeding her child, telling viewers what happened and “urging women to stand up for breast-feeding.” “Breast-feeding is normal,” she said. “I have breast-fed in a few different countries. I have breast-fed all over the place,” she said. “No one has ever said anything to me.”

Now the woman and her attorney “are pressing church leaders to reverse their policy. and issue a statement of apology. I guess there’s a Virginia that protects a woman’s “right” to breast-feed in public. The bills passed without any opposition whatsoever and the governor signed it into law back in 2005.

Before passage of this statute, Virginia law guaranteed mothers the right to breast-feed on state-owned property or any public place without violating the state’s indecent exposure law. Now, a woman may breastfeed in any place where the mother is lawfully present, including any location where she would otherwise be allowed on property that is owned, leased, or controlled by the Commonwealth in accordance with § 2.2-1147.1.

The church said it “was not aware of the law and would look into it.

A similar incident recently happened in North Carolina. There a judge told a women in his courtroom who was breast-feeding her son:

Ma’am, you need to cover up. For you not to realize that is absolutely ridiculous. Step outside, and cover up right now. Stand up, and go, now.

To nurse the child in the courtroom is just absolutely inappropriate. Now step outside and button up, or whatever you need to do to button up.

Yet, under North Carolina law: “A woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.”

These laws (like most laws) should never have been passed because there is no right to breast-feed.

I think breastfeeding is in the best interests of the baby and mother and here are 101 reasons why. I agree with the woman who breast-fed her daughter in church that breast-feeding is normal.  I am not against breast-feeding. It is a natural activity.

So are urination, defecation and intercourse, but notice that we don’t do those in public and when we do, most people are okay with us being arrested for it. I’m not suggesting breast-feeding moms should be arrested. I’m suggesting they should take the similarity into consideration and cover up.

Because I am a sexually normal male with a moral code, I prefer (as does my 18-year-old son) that I don’t see bare-chested women. This is especially relevant for Kiernan because he doesn’t have the outlet to go have sex with the woman he’s married to. He’s not married and he claims one of his goals in life is to be a virgin when he marries … but that’s not the easiest thing to do in a society where women feel that somehow their sexually alluring private anatomy changes to something innocent when they are nursing a child. I don’t really understand why some women use breast-feeding as a means to expose themselves in public. I grew up in New York City where they used to (do they still?) arrest men for exposing their genitalia is public. It was a big deal then, and it must still be a big deal here in Fairbanks because the police blotter had some guy being arrested for exposing himself in public a few months ago. So why isn’t it a big deal when a woman does it? Because she’s nursing a baby? I don’t buy that because I know from Lela’s experience that you don’t have to uncover and exposure yourself to public view in order to breast-feed in public.

Then there’s the point Lela made about this when we discussed it. A church is private property. Yes. It’s a public venue, but it is owned by the members of the church. They allow the public in as a courtesy, but the property is not in the public domain. No one, including the government, has the authority to tell anyone what they must allow people to do on their privately held property. Restaurants, stores and churches are all private property.

If government can tell you that you must allow women to breast-feed on your property, then what can’t government tell you that you must allow people to do on your property? Should you be forced to allow public fornication in the middle of the church service? How about urinating and defecating? Male and/or female full-body nudity?

So, you see, there is no right to breastfeed. There is a right to do what you want on your own property, which could include breast-feeding. And there is a right to do what you want on someone’s else’s property as long as you have the owner’s permission and are doing it in accordance with whatever rules they’ve placed on the activity. That goes for breast-feeding, swearing, smoking, drinking, and wearing clothing.

Conversely, if you are on someone’s property and you see a woman breast-feeding her child uncovered, you don’t have the option to pressure the government to make her stop breast-feeding anymore than she has the option to pressure the government to grant her a government-regulated privilege to breast-feed.

Please, ladies, breast-feed … but for the sake of propriety and civility toward the people around you … cover up. It’s not that difficult. Most churches offer “cry rooms” where there are speakers so you don’t miss the sermon and women like Lela can show you how to breast-feed under a drape so you don’t have to relocate unnecessarily. Unless we’re going to stop arresting men for flashing women … but I think that’s really not what you want.


This is Lela. Brad wrote this, but I completely agree with it.  I suspect this controversy has arisen because of some women’s insistence that other people can’t tell them what to do even when they’re on the property of those trying to do the telling. Interacting in society means following certain rules. Men don’t pull out their penises in public … and when they do, women call the cops on them. Women should not “flash” men and then try to use their baby as a shield. It is as much sexual assault as when men flash women. Cover up! It’s not that hard and it totally will not injure you or your child. It is among the habits that make up civil conduct within society.


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