We Should Regulate Speech   1 comment

Did I get your attention?

Here’s my thought. We all know that we have a right to free speech. The Constitution gives that to us. But speech can be dangerous. People get their feelings hurt and sometimes what people say are so rude that it incites mob violence. Well, the Founders thought that ability was important, so unless we amend the Constitution, we can’t regulate speech that takes place in person.

But … technology has changed. The Founders didn’t know the telephone would be invented and they certainly couldn’t have foreseen the Internet. Now I have the ability to piss people off thousands of miles away and millions of them at a time. Clearly, the Founders would have recognized this as dangerous and regulated it.

So, here is my thought! I think we should regulate the telephone and Internet. Yes, I know the telephone has been around for a while, but sometimes we take a while to recognize the danger something poses. The cell phone has made it so you can say anything you want from anywhere in your world. In the last 20 years, we’ve had hundreds of people have their feelings hurt by others talking carelessly on the telephone, but more, we’ve now got people using their cell phones to deliberately anger people.

So, from now on, you will need to pass a background check if you want a cell phone. You’ll be denied ownership of a cell if that background check shows you’ve ever taken a drink because we all know that alcohol makes some people speak the truth loosely and we just can’t have that. It’s just too dangerous.

For now, we will ask the cell phone dealers to keep the records of the background checks, but the government won’t actually look at those … unless of course, you get drunk next year and bitch your wife out on your cell phone and then we’ll want to check to see that you were appropriately background checked when you bought that phone.

Judge : Judge gavel

And, then, in a year or so, after you’ve gotten used to that, we’ll link up those data bases and cross reference them with the liquor vendors so that we can assure that nobody who even buys wine for Thanksgiving can pass a background check for a cell phone.

I think the world will become a much better place with nobody getting their feelings hurt from now on.

All Better!  Signed Barack Obama

One response to “We Should Regulate Speech

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  1. Reblogged this on Tin Foil Hat Book Club and commented:
    aurorawatcherak brings up a great point!


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